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 <--
I'm the white guy
My Testimony
(Me
in Haiti with the kids at HIS Home for Children... I'm the
white one)
Arthur Eiss - My Testimony
I was born into a poor Christian family in
central New York State. My father Pastored a church for a short
time and worked as a freelance software consultant. We went to a
Free Methodist Church when I was a small boy. I remember people
telling me that I needed to ask Jesus to come into my heart. I
also remember asking Him to come into my heart, but I did not
understand what that meant at the time. I basically thought of
Jesus as an imaginary friend I was supposed to talk to. I did
pray from time to time but I did not know Jesus personally.
When I was 10 years old my father got a good paying job in Los Angeles,
CA. We moved to the crime filled city from a small country town
of 300. In LA we stopped going to Church as a family. I was
often tormented and beaten by my peers who were mostly hispanic and
black. I endured much racism at a young age, though I did not
understand it. The school officials would deny that anything was
happening to me and my parents did not know who to believe.
Nothing was ever done about the beatings. Thankfully we
moved back to New York State after only a year and a half of LA living.
The experience, however, tainted my views of authority and
society.
Back on the east coast, we moved into the rich suburb of Stony Brook,
Long Island. My trouble in school didn't go away completely but
the violence was less frequent. I was generally withdrawn.
I also found myself very bored in school, and one day I wrote in
my school journal that I wanted to die. This was 1994, and I was
living in a school district which was dealing with a rash of student
deaths, both accidental and suicidal. I was sent to a hospital
and admitted to the pediatric psychiatric wing. I stayed for 3
weeks before I learned to tell the doctors what they needed to hear to
release me.
By the time I was in Junior High I was testing the school system for
every bit of hypocrisy or even a hint of prejudice. I was out to
show that the system was bogus. Afterall, it was the same system
that allowed me be beaten on the school grounds and did nothing about
it, even denied the fact. Though I was highly intelligent, my
behavior caused the school officials to recommend my placement in
special education. I got kicked out of each 'mainstream' class I
attended, one by one. By the time I was 16 it didn't look as
though I would ever finish high school.
In my Sophmore year I was expelled from school for swearing very
boisterously at the principal in public. It was of course the
straw that broke the camel's back. The school had been trying to
solve the problem of Arthur Eiss for years and finally they threw their
hands in the air. They gave me an ultimatum: goto a special
school for problem children, in a one-on-one environment, or drop out.
I chose the latter for a year before I became frightened that I
was wasting my life.
When I returned to school I did my homework for the first time in my
life, and I actually tried my best for the first time since I was a
little child. I got straight As. My last year in highschool
was spent in my friend's house as my parents had moved upstate to
Columbia County. My friend and I had been avid pot smokers since
we were 13. Nothing changed there.
When I graduated I moved up to my parents' new farm house in Columbia
County. It was beautiful. My parents had become Christians
and so had my sister, who was living in North Carolina. I was an
atheist by this time, wholly convinced that God could not exist.
I felt like the black sheep of the family, but I didn't let the
hold me back from my dreams. I went to a community college where
I deceided I wanted to study English as a major and become a writer.
I did very well, academically, in college.
After a year of community college I went to SUNY Plattsburgh.
There, my whole world fell apart. I was away from my family
and friends. I was using drugs. I was depressed and full of
anxiety. I never slept well at night; I was always too nervous to
sleep. Eventually I decided that I could not take it any more. I
felt that the whole world was against me. I fantasized about
running away or throwing myself off a cliff somewhere. I dropped
out of college after my 3rd semester.
After that experience, I fell into a downward spiral of depression and
anxiety. I couldn't hold a job for more than a couple months.
I had no direction in life and no self-confidence. I felt
like a complete failure. When I wasn't employed I spent my time
in my parents' basement using drugs, drinking and adulterating myself
with pornography. I had no hope for the future.
One day my father mentioned that he was going to a weekend convention
at the Pepsi Arena in Albany. I didn't really understand what it
was, but I did understand it was a 'christian' event and though I
figured it would be boring I thought it might be good for me, and I
thought it would be a good time to spend with my father.
The event was called Promise Keepers.
At the event, I came to realize that I was a sinner in need of a
Savior. I heard the Gospel message portrayed in a way that I
could understand. The speaker on stage seemed to be speaking
directly to my heart as he recounted the story of the Father and the
Son. The Father how loved us so much that he gave his only Son to
die for our sins. I accpeted Christ in my heart, repenting of my
wickedness, on that day.
Life has not been a bed of roses since that day in the summer of 2003;
but God has kept me through the difficult times and grown me in faith
to be the man that I am today. God is still working in my heart
and in my life to make me a better man. I thank God for his great
mercy in my life, and for his Spirit inside me which causes me to will
and to act according to his good purpose. Today I serve God on
many fronts, of which Straight and Narrow Records is only one, though
it is in the forefront.
Thank you for reading. May God bless you as he has blessed me. Seek him and he will reveal himself to you.
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